Sam loved to sneak up and take Dutch's chewies even though he had his own!
Part one of this post was the devastating loss of Dutch, our much-loved Golden Retriever as the result of congestive heart failure a few months ago. As the weeks passed, we all suffered and missed Dutch dearly; including Sam, our other Golden whom Dutch looked over and protected. They had been best friends and always stayed together. None of us had realized the grief Sam would endure after the loss of his pal.
We began to see a difference in Sam. He would no longer greet anyone when they came to the door. He lost his appetite and was very restless. We knew we had to help him through this. In the past, they had each other. When I would get home, they would greet me but then would quickly carry on to whatever mischief they were getting into. My wife and I were very concerned and began lavishing attention onto Sam. Rawhide treats, Skineez (his favorite toy), we even began letting him up on the furniture to sit with us, something that was a big “no no” in the past.
Sam was like this for weeks.
As the weeks turned into months, Sam has slowly started to come around. He sits in my chair waiting for everyone to get home at the end of the day. The bond we have now is different from before. As I watch him longing for his pal, I realize pets’ emotions are very much like our own. Sam strives for attention from me when I get home now. Although you can tell he still longs for Dutch, he has come a long way.
The loss of Dutch suddenly put Sam on the hierarchy to watch over the family. I have a very early schedule and he would never be up when I prepared for work. He now wakes with my alarm and is waiting at the bedside to greet me in the morning. Sometimes he just sits and stares, and makes me wonder exactly what’s going on in that intelligent head of his. His energy level has increased as well as his appetite.
Sam and I.
We had purchased two of the quilted dog beds when both Sam and Dutch were together. My wife was going to remove Dutch’s but we decided to keep it next to Sam’s. To this day, Sam will only sleep on Dutch’s bed. I look at it as kind of a security blanket for Sam.
Sam now goes everywhere with us, he just loves to be around us. That little twinkle is back in his eyes and I can still see that rambunctious little puppy in him again.
I now share my chair with him. I stop and take time for him, no matter what type of day I had. Just as pets are our companions, in their world other pets are also their companions.
Sam and I with one of his Christmas gifts from Drs. Foster & Smith
Sam is like Dutch, one of a kind. Each with their own personality that differs so much, yet they’re so much alike. Seeing Sam grieve made me open my eyes to the mentality of our pets. After spending so much time watching over him and noticing everything he does, I can almost tell what type of mood he is in from day to day.
Miss You Big Guy, Love Sam
Dutch is very missed, but he left a lot of himself with Sam. Little quirks not noticed before resemble the way Dutch acted and now make me chuckle. Sam is now the dog of the house and seems very content.
Related Articles:
- Stories From Our Clinic: The Animal to Animal Bond
- Loss and Gain
- Keep That Joy Your Pet Gave You Alive
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It had to be heartbreaking for you to watch Sam go through his grief process. Thanks for a great post, so important for pet owners to realize that pets grieve similarly to people.
Thank you for sharing this story, Heath. Sam is truly lucky to have a family like yours to help him get through his grief
When my Irish Setter Molly passed away – Mocca, my other dog, would, for several weeks, go check in the bedroom to see if Molly was there. So sad! Thanks for the great story Heath.
I’ve thought about how hard it will be for me when I lose my older dog, but never thought about how hard it could be on my other pets. It’s good to think about this ahead of time. Thanks for the post.
I see much of the same with Missy, our 13 1/2 yr old Golden Retriever, since we’ve put her sister down due to cancer of the foot (and later forearm). Missy will position herself in a spot in the kitchen where she can see three entry points at once – front door, back door, and entry from the back hallway – waiting for Shadow to return. We’d taken them both to the vet for Shadow’s euthanasia, so Missy could witness her sister “going to sleep” and not coming back home with us. Over 6 months later, Missy began to seek out the carrier that we took Shadow to the vet in. I will find that she’s left her regular Igloo sleeping quarters at night and has traveled in the dark of the garage to get into the carrier. I’m certain that she finds comfort resting/sleeping in the last place (here at the house) that her sister did. I now plug a night light in for her, to help her find her way
I’ve found that grieving often starts before our pets are gone. I think a lot of people are so unhappy and suffering during their pet’s illness that they miss out on what can be a very special time together. There is even a term for this period in our pets’ lives when we are preparing to say goodbye: anticipatory grief. I am so thankful for a book about this, called The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer. The author, Doug Koktavy, writes about what he went through during his two Labrador retrievers’ terminal illnesses. He says the experience wasn’t the worst of times, it was the richest. I will read this book again and again as my two family members, Alex, my Siberian husky, and Toby, my puggle, come to this sad part of their life circles.
I have no doubt that dogs grieve – I have a torn down door to prove it!
We had to euthanize our collie, Maddie, due to bloat – totally unexpected. It took us all by surprise. Shannon, our shepherd/lab mix, had grown up with Maddie, never really been without him. When we came back from the vet, she knew something was wrong (she knew something was wrong with Maddie before we did – should have paid more attention to the dog.)
It took well over a month for Shannon to recover from her grief, including the use of medication and training. She was terrified to be alone, destructive, panicked – you name it – and wandering around the house and yard looking for “her favorite furry chew toy.” For three weeks, I couldn’t let her out of my sight, she was with me 24 hours a day, until after enough intensive work, I felt safe enough to leave her alone for a few minutes, then stretching that into longer periods. This was an extreme example, but it just shows the depth of attachment that dogs create as well as people.
I guess the lesson I learned was – don’t ignore the pain that the animal who is left behind is in – take care of them, whatever it takes.
Im looking for an answer for my problem. How did you ever get Sam to eat. My oldest dog died at the age of 12 from cancer and I still have her pup which is 7 I have tried everything to get her to eat at times she does but more often not and Im really worried Suzi just died March12th if anyone out there has any ideas please share them with me